“Wai” hug?
In America, people who haven’t seen each other for any length of time usually hug (the intensity and duration of the hug is usually parallel with the length of time the huggers haven’t seen each other). As some of you may know, my mother died in 1986 and, since then, I have only seen my aunties and cousins twice since then (once in 2001 and the second time, a few days ago in Bangkok) on my mother’s side of the family. In spite of this, I knew that my aunties who were raised old school Thai would only “wai” (hands placed together with fingers pointing up with a slight bow) to the only niece of their beloved sister whom they had scarcely seen in 30 years. I had to shift affection gears from my huggy self and only did a “wai” when I saw the aunties. One auntie, in particular, who is the youngest of my mother’s sisters looked especially like my mother. I just couldn’t refrain myself and I had to hug her and she hugged me back. Growing up as an American girl had molded me into a huggy person (when I first meet them after a long conversation or if I hadn’t seen them in a few weeks, months or years). I missed my aunties (even though they spoke very little English and I speak minimal Thai: we communicated by“Thaienglish” – a combo of Thai and English) and I “wai’d” them out of respect. One even drove several hours just to visit with me and I knew I only could “wai” her. Perhaps one of these days, the Thais can also join the westernized form of affection and give a half-“wai” and half-hug: like a “wug” or something. Perhaps bowing with one hand and using the other arm to hug the beloved family or friend. Maybe I should start a “wug” trend for the younger Thai generation?
Paying for Squatty Potties and BYOTP
It’s All Thai To Me
It’s interesting that there are several ways to say the same
thing in English versus in Thai language (usually the phrasing/words are
conceptual). For instance, if you wanted
to ask how much the cost of an item is in English, you would typically ask,
“How much is that?”, “What is the cost of that?” or “What is the price of
that?”, “How much does that cost?” or something similar. In Thai, two words capture the thought,
feeling or notion: “Talay, ka?” (or “kup” if you’re a man). Talay means “price”. I can understand why people, whose English is
a second language, have a difficult time with grasping the English language
because of all of our phraseology: adjectives, adverbs, verbs, nouns, pronouns,
etc. Even after all these years, I have
to keep apologizing to Thai people that even though I’m of Thai origin, I can
barely speak it (and definitely can’t write it or read it). In the last several years, my dad has sent me
3 or 4 Thai language CD’s (wanting me to get in touch with my Thai roots so I
can communicate effectively and so that family members can stop pestering him
as to the reason why I can’t speak Thai fluently). Each time, I have had some reason why I
couldn’t study the CD. I am going to
make a concerted effort to learn Thai so people don’t have to switch to
“Thaienglish” when they talk to me.
Confrontation and Courtesy
I notice that in the U.S., people are much more
confrontational (they will confront you if you walk, drive, or speak too
fast/too slow, do things differently than them, etc.). Here they basically just live and let live,
which is not to say that people don’t get into arguments. People argue, but they don’t normally argue
or yell out to strangers. In America, if
a person cuts another person off while driving or cut in front of them while in
line, someone will hear an ear-full. In
Thailand, this is not the case. They
just basically feel that if they are cut in front of while driving or walking,
the other person must have a good reason.
Amazing how different cultures are.
In America, there’s more individualistic thinking and in Asia (and other
countries) there’s more collectivistic thinking (doing things for the greater
good of one’s culture or family).
One thing I found interesting is that each hotel or store
that we went to, people were more than accommodating to my dad and stepmom and
even took several minutes (or hours) to converse in a jovial manner. Whether we were in an upscale community or
the slums, people treated us the same: with respect and courtesy and were more
than willing to shoot the breeze with us.
Even though I am 100% Thai, I still get curious looks (Ted
and I both do) from Thai onlookers who can’t decide if I’m half-white and
half-Thai or half-Thai and half-something-else.
Perhaps it’s my height. Perhaps
it’s my weight (I’m in the correct BMI at 140 pounds, but a little curvier than
most Thai girls/women). Perhaps it’s
both. Even when I speak Thai, the Thais
switch their language to “Thaienglish” so I can understand. Maybe it’s my
semi-puzzled or “deer-in-the-headlights” look when I try to decipher 50% of
what they are saying. Ted naturally gets
looks because blonde hair/blue eyes is not usual in a sea of black/brown hair
and brown eyes. It’s interesting that
Asians are still the minority in the U.S. and even more so in Florida (in which
there are only .5% Thais and 2% Asians total) and people think I’m Latina usually
so I don’t really garner curious looks.
Here, we both do. It has made us
wonder: “Do we look funny to them?” “Is something on our face?” “Are we not
blending in enough?” The answer to why
people are looking at us is simply that we look, behave, and speak differently
from the Thais. It was humorous that at
a New Year’s Eve party, a Burmese man walked up to Ted and shook his hand (in
the evening) and said, “Good morning, sir!”
He was honored to shake the hand of an American (whom he thought,
naturally, was a missionary or a teacher (which is what the Thais presume most
“fulungs” are in Thailand).
My Kup Runneth Over
Ted wondered why men say “kup” and the women say “ka” at the
end of almost every sentence. In polite
and courteous Thai conversation, one can hear “ka” or “kup” several times. For instance (like certain other languages)
men and women start or end their sentences according to their gender: men say “Sawadee
kup” and women say “Sawadee ka” for “hello”.
Men say “Kup koon kup” and the women say “Kup koon ka” for “thank
you”. My father would say “kup” several
times while speaking on his cell phone to family and friends. Out of curiosity, Ted asked what this
meant. I said, “It basically means a
combination of how southerners in the U.S. say “Yes, sir”/“Yes, ma’am” and “If
you please” at the end of their conversation or every few sentences. In fact, if they don’t say “kup” or “ka” at
the end of every other sentence, it’s considered brash, bold and rude.
Driving us up the wall
New York….LA….Chicago….Miami…when drivers think of the
“Carmageddon” that usually occurs in rush hour traffic, they shudder. Bangkok is 10 times worse. Not only do they drive on the left side of
the street (like England), but they also drive on the right side of the
car. Talk about becoming
disoriented. When I got in the car with
my father sitting on the right front seat and Ted sitting in the left front
seat, I was shocked that Ted wanted to drive in the Bangkok bedlam, but then I
realized that my dad was the driver because he was seated on the right. In a discombobulated mass of confusion and
chaos, tuk-tuk drivers (the word “tuk tuk” means “suffer suffer” in Thai and I
can see why. The guests sit in the back
of what resembles a golf-cart with slight railings to keep the patrons inside
and the driver who sits up front drives a motorcycle. It’s like a motorcycle-golf-cart of chaos with
no seatbelts, taxis (non-seat-belted, of course), motorcycle taxis, bicyclists,
and busses zipping and whipping back and forth.
In spite of the hustle and bustle, drivers are relatively calm and even
compassionate. Hardly anybody honks at
another person (like in the U.S.A. in which people just honk if you look at
them funny) unless the other driver does something egregious or to let the
other driver know that you are next to them.
They seem to accommodate one another and hardly ever cut each other
off. As we hang on for life and limb in
my dad’s car ride in Bangkok (that would rival a Universal Studios ride), we
thank God for arriving safely to our destinations (with the help of “Nancy”,
our GPS guide).
Superstitions and Sanitation
I was dining with my dad, stepmom and husband (Ted) at “The
Floating Restaurant” near the Bridge at the River Kwai (the site where the
Japanese forced WWII POW’s to build the bridge, resulting in multitudes of
heroic soldiers’ deaths from the UK and the United States). As we were dining (for dinner) I had a crab
salad and beef kabob. I then felt a
splash on the left side of my wrist. To
my utter disgust was a black liquid substance resembling bird manure on my
wrist. I was hoping it was something
other than bird manure. I was
wrong. I looked up and, confirming my
repulsion, were little birds perched on the rafters, jutting back and forth. I was taken aback at the thought that these
little birds were allowed to perch (there wasn’t much that the Thai restaurant
staff could do to prevent these little birds from doing their unwelcome business
in and on the restaurant patrons and their food) there without some type of Thai
FDA shut-down and red-tape. Alas, part
of the ambience is that it is an outdoor restaurant. My dad and stepmom – even though I was
repulsed and shocked and squealed: “Eeeeeeewwww! A bird crapped on my wrist!”
They were laughing with delight and said, “Chokedee!” (meaning that being
crapped on by a bird or any other animal was a form of “good luck” and that the
powers that be would bless me with a large sum of money) and encouraged me to
play the lottery. Even in jest, they
were serious. In Asian superstition, if
someone has a dream (or in reality) that they are immersed in crap (whether the
crapper is animal or human) then it foretells of an auspicious amount of money
that is about to be bestowed upon the crappee. So, the next time someone says that they are
“crapped on” by someone (as a figure of speech), the Asian notion is that they
will be finally fortunate, indeed. My
father also told me about the instance in the movie “Slumdog Millionaire” in
which the main character falls into a puddle of human excrement and,
hilariously enough, uses it to his advantage to repel the doting fans of his
favorite action movie hero so he could obtain his autograph. Will I win a large sum of money? Only time will tell. If I do, I will also thank God for His
blessings that the bird didn’t crap into the food that I was previously eating
before I hastily shoved it away. If it
did, as the adage goes: “more protein”!
When I was a child living in Thailand in the early 80’s, I
took no thought of eating from street vendors in Thailand and I lived to tell
about it. Just like in the U.S., they
sell food on carts. The only huge
difference is that the food vendors are not required to obtain a food or vendor
license or FDA approval (to sell food or any other belongings on the street,
for the most part). Considering that all
a person needs is a cart, a way to store the unprepared food (usually the
unprepared food is stored at outside temperatures, which is a breeding ground
for bacteria and the like. Rarely do I
see the beef, chicken, or fish on ice) and a way to cook it (with or without
adequate sanitation) the prospect of eating from a vendor can be truly
risky. Each time my family, husband and
I walked the streets of Bangkok, I was so tempted to purchase fish ball skewers
(pureed fish rolled up in a ball, a little larger than the size of a big
gumball) I would mention, longingly, how I wanted to purchase them at a little
less than 50 cents USD. Seeing that I
was determined to live on the edge and buy a fish ball skewer anyway, as a
cautionary warning, my father told me how most vendors leave their carts
outside when they retire for the evening and then the scavenger rats come and
lick the equipment and the food (of course, the vendors, unbeknownst to them of
the previous night’s rodent feast, just continue vending in the morning). He performed an experiment in such that he
left a soup ladle inside his own kitchen and a huge rat - the size of a New
York sewer rat or a tiny dog, as he described - emerged from the crevices of
the wall and then lapped up the remaining soup residue off the ladle.
In an unrelated event, we were at a New Year’s Eve party
that one of my father’s friends held and the servers continued to bring out
Chinese-inspired Thai dishes. My father,
in particular, warned us to be careful because some “fulungs” (foreigners to
Thailand of the Caucasian persuasion) have actually died because of food
poisoning due to uncooked or undercooked meats.
Ted, erring on the cautious side, decided to eschew the seafood-laden
salad in spite of my pleadings that it was ok.
My father also said that the safest bet – in terms of sanitary food –
was to eat at a restaurant. Considering
there isn’t any FDA intervention, is it a safer bet? I wonder what the USFDA
would have to say about the little birds in the rafters and their
protein-adding behavior at the outdoor restaurant? Needless to say, we ate our dinner gingerly,
eyeing every meal with suspicion after that.
Tummy Troubles
Unfortunately, since the 7th day of our visit,
I’ve succumbed to the “deli belly” of Thailand.
One morning a few days ago, I knew that the food of my culture (that is
adored by the culinary world) had caused my stomach to turn upside down with
gurgling, burbling, nausea, pains and alas, had given me “issues” so to
speak. Tummy troubles in a foreign
country (in which 90% of the toilets are squatty potties) is especially
troublesome, let alone in your home country.
I’ve been battling this digestive dragon with apple cider vinegar ever
since the culprit has colonized my colon.
Two steps forward and two steps back.
If you’ve ever had apple cider vinegar, it is not for the faint of
stomach because holding one’s nose can give you minimal relief from the acidic
smell and the taste of it thereof. I’ve
been drinking about ½ cup 3 times per day and I can feel the apple cider vinegar
actually clean my stomach only to have my stomach retaliate with new food. I just have to remember that “this too shall
pass” and I hope quite literally pass through my gastrointestinal system
soon! Thankfully, my father was
prescribed antibiotics by a doctor two years ago for such a time as food
poisoning….and saved my stomach (along with Thai super yogurt, loaded with
friendly stomach bacteria).
We Are Family
We were so blessed that my cousins, uncles, and aunts got
together with us for a wedding reception (10 years later or an early 10-year
wedding anniversary party. You can take
your pick whichever one you choose that sounds the best J). I actually had no idea of the heart-felt
connection I had with them even though I am not fluent in Thai. We all ate a la carte meals of tasty Thai
dishes including yum nua (beef salad), fried fish (bla tod), coconut chicken
soup (tom kha gai), etc. Thai food can
be a commonality in the U.S., but authenticity is unusual. To top it off, my uncles had stood up and had
given us a commemorative speech (my father being the Thai to English translator
and vice versa) about how they all welcomed us to Thailand (and Ted to the
Kawewong family) and congratulated us for our 10-year wedding anniversary (or
late 10-year reception). There was live
music in the background and, unbeknownst to me, they expected me to sing
karaoke (of course I didn’t mind because I enjoy it) in spite of my
forewarnings that my best singing originates from the shower and not from a
stage. I sang “I Can’t Help Falling In
Love With You” by Elvis Presley. Yes, I became
Peachy Presley (my nickname for the night).
My dad immediately followed with a Thai love song. One of my uncles followed suit with a karaoke
Thai love song of his own. They also
presented us with a beautiful (and tasty!) cake that had coconut filling. It was a wonderful evening filled with family
love and laughter. Each set of my
uncles/aunts/cousins also topped the evening off with monetary gifts for our
anniversary. It definitely was an
unexpected, pleasant occasion!
My stepmom decided to stay in the car because she was
feeling sick and tired while my dad, Ted and I took a boat across the Mekong
River that separates Laos and Thailand.
A few things made us feel a bit nervous: the fact that Laos is a communist
country, but does allow foreigners to visit for commerce at the flea market at
the border and the boat that took us across the river was literally a small
motor boat. When we got to the border of
Laos and Thailand, we were given orange life-preserver vests and, to my
surprise, it was not a water taxi (barge that can fit several dozen people), it
was a canoe-looking motor/speed boat. I
was unprepared for the rough ride as we were sprayed by river water (to my dismay
since I dressed up in a dress, hose, and heels because I thought we were going
to stay in the city and meet my cousins/uncles/aunts on my dad’s side at a Thai
restaurant first). I was half-expecting
to – by accident – tip over into the Mekong River so I was holding onto my
purse (which contains my U.S. and Thai passports) and snuggly pressed my feet
against the boat side so my shoes wouldn’t fly off into the water. Despite my concerns, we arrived safely at the
other side to Laos. There was a man who
helped dock the boat (by simply reaching out his hand and pulling the boat
closer). My dad made the mistake of
giving him $100 baht. Concerned, I asked
my dad why he didn’t tip the “boat chauffer” and he said it “was the same
company”. Looking closer at the man who
pulled the boat closer, I saw that he was homeless with rotted teeth and
tattered clothing. My dad just “tipped”
a Laotian beggar instead of the boat chauffer!
We laughed about this and then we were greeted by poor Laotian children
who kept chanting “Hoy baht! Hoy baht!” as they were panhandling, looking for
$100 baht (equivalent of about a day’s wages in Laos and $3.50 in USD). My dad also gave a few bahts to the children
and then when we saw the Laos border office, a sign stated: “Do not give
begging children money.” I can imagine
why as, unfortunately, traffickers take advantage of children – knowing
full-well that tourists feel sympathy for the children and take all the
children’s money that they panhandled in exchange for agreeing not to
physically abuse or kill them or their family members at worst. Ted and I were tense because – in addition to
being eyed and stared at by SE Asians for looking/acting/talking differently –
they seemed to be sizing us up (especially Ted) as a “rich” foreigner who is
useful for spending cash on the wares that they were hocking at the border
Laotian flea market or giving money to panhandlers. After I bought a purse/backpack for $570
bahts (equivalent of $18) and Ted bought a few souvenirs, we were eager for the
boat ride back to Thailand.
When we went to Burma, there were numerous checkpoints in
which we (my dad and I) had to show our temporary Thai border pass. We only had to pay $30 baht at the Thai
border and $10 baht at Myanmar (the official SE Asian name for Burma) and Ted
(feeling price-gouged due to his “fulung” status) had to pay $500 bahts. In contrast to our visit to Laos, they
actually held Ted’s passport at the border patrol office until he left, which
made him feel very nervous and insecure, considering that he wouldn’t be able
to get help from a U.S. embassy if he needed it and wouldn’t be able to fly
back home to Florida. In contrast to
Laos, children weren’t panhandling us; however, we were greeted, this time, by
many cigarette vendors (Burmese men – and few women – that carried a
basket-full of cigars and cigarettes in front of them). One man actually became fairly aggressive to
Ted and tried to persuade him (as he looks like a “rich” foreigner) to buy
cigarettes. In irritation, as we were
walking through the crowds and vendors, Ted retorted, “I DON’T SMOKE!” The man backed off and said, “Oh. No speak
English?” then the vendor tried to persuade me by touching my arm and uttering
something in Thai and I said, “My ow, ka” – meaning “I don’t want it, but
thanks.” Ted (and not me as much) was
tense and terse in Burma as my dad – in a relaxed state – bought Burmese movies
(movies that are for the SE Asian DVD system but not for U.S. usage) at a cheap
price. When we crossed over the border,
the Burmese officials asked Ted what hotel he was staying at tonight and, since
we were driving three hours to my parents’ house in Chiangmai, he beckoned me
over (after my dad and I crossed) to tell the officials the address of where he
was staying (thankfully, I was gazing at the scenario from a distance). Concerned, I ran over to my dad and told him
to tell the Burmese officials his home address (or else they wouldn’t let Ted
go!). We were very relieved to walk back
to Thailand.
Along Came A Spider
Many people have folklore about the size and ferocity of
Southeast Asian insects such as the large flying red and black ants, moths,
etc. Ted, however, was a bit suspicious
of the rumors of large insects until this morning. We stayed at a cottage lodge in Chang Saen
(sp?) and Ted was about to take a shower when he nonchalantly walked out of the
restroom and told me to call my father on his cell phone to ask him if we could
use his shower. Puzzled, I asked him
why? He responded that he is glad that
he is a calm person and that he will notify me after I call my father. Apparently, while he was shaving, he saw a
huge, black spot out of the corner of his eye – thinking that it was a trail of
ants on the bathroom wall (as is their usual behavior). Unfortunately, it turned out to be a
gargantuan spider the size of the length of my hand (about eight inches in
diameter). I ran outside to tell my
father because he wasn’t answering his cell phone and my dad beckoned a hotel
employee to get rid of it. I saw a Thai
employee with a broom approach our room and Ted balked at the idea that a broom
could rid us of the unwanted bathroom guest.
I decided to wait outside when the young woman came out with the remains
of the Godzilla spider scrunched up in a napkin. It takes a lot for Ted to become choked up
and usually has no problem squashing a bug inside our house (regular North
American size pest) so I realize that this spider (although I didn’t see it
with my own eyes) must have been rather imposing if he wanted to switch
restrooms with my parents to shower.
Bargaining in Bangkok and Floating Foreigners
We went to the world famous “Floating Market” (in Thai it is
called “Dallat Nam” which translated literally is “Market of Water” in which
people pay a water boat “chauffer” to use a motor-operated boat or paddle
through the rivers teeming with wide-eyed foreigners and their Thai hosts
looking for a deal). Stores are built on
stilts in which vendors sit from 8am to 12pm selling their (usually) hand-made
products. You can purchase souvenirs
such as Thai novelty dolls, jewelry, clothes, purses, bags, fruits, food, etc.
for a third or fourth the cost of what you’d pay at an indoor mall. Most of the items don’t have a label with a
price listed on them because everything at this curious floating flea market is
up for bargaining. My stepmother (“Lek”)
drives a hard-bargain. She’ll usually
cut them down to 25% to 50% of their cost and – as opposed to me who gives in
too easily – will walk away if she doesn’t get her way. She will ask “Tumaye pang?” which means “Why
so expensive?” She usually will bend if
they charge her about 10 bahts (and no more) above her asking price. She could teach a class called “Bargaining in
Bangkok”! Kudos to my stepmom. J For a little lady, she can pack a discounting
punch! Almost everything is up for bargaining (even hotel rates) unless the
person you’re bargaining with doesn’t have any clout and is an employee with no
leverage power.
Fish Therapy?
The first time I saw fish therapy was in the movie “Mirror,
Mirror” with Julia Roberts (in which she plays the nefarious stepmother of Snow
White who seeks to woo a prince with bizarre beauty treatments, including a
bee-sting on the lips and scorpion stings on the skin for collagen increase,
and being slathered with bird manure to soften and detoxify the skin which, I
found out, is also a modern-day treatment for the wealthy) and one of the
pampering treatments she gives herself is a fish-nibbling manicure. We were all amused at the night bazaar (it
should be called night “bizarre”, which is a fancy way of saying Thai “flea
market” with the various vendors selling food, clothing, etc.) when we spotted
two large aquariums (probably 100 gallons at least) full of tiny fish and a
Caucasian young male tourist with his legs/feet reclining in the tank with the
little fish nipping at the dead skin on his feet and legs. Apparently, there are certain fish that only
find dead skin and callouses a delicacy.
The Thai vendor of this curious “fish therapy” charged around 300 bahts
or so (around $10 USD, but I honestly don’t remember accurately) for a dip in
this aquatic pedicure environment. I
said the word for “dirty” in Thai (which is “soak-a-poke”, humorously enough)
to my parents and my stepmom agreed.
Basically, if you paid for this curious therapy, you would be soaking
your feet in an aquarium that probably doesn’t get cleaned out often in which
dozens of other tourists have also soaked their legs and feet. Again, the USFDA would be fit to be tied (or
should it be “fish to be tied”?) because the fish could spread harmful
microorganisms from one customer to the next.
Eeeeewwww! It does sound a bit
relaxing and I was tempted, but after I concluded that the hygiene of this
therapy was fishy, I quickly stopped fishing for my bahts to waste.
Cold Temperatures in Thailand?
Through connections, my parents were invited (for free!) for
a stay at the Inthanon National Park. I
was forewarned by my dad to bring cold weather clothing. Semi-balking at the idea that Thailand could
be cold, I brought minimal clothing for frigid temperatures because I thought
“cold Thailand” was an oxymoron.
Situated at the highest peak of Thailand, the temperatures plummeted to
the coldest I’ve ever felt (and have never felt) in Thailand. I thought it was curious that the country
Thai folk were wearing cozy hats, scarves, gloves, clothing, etc. for cold
temps. Realizing that I was in for a
rude temperature awakening, I bought a pair of socks. Little did I know it was 0 degrees Celsius
and when we sat outside our lodge, we could see our breath. The impossible was made possible as I have
always thought that Thailand was almost unbearably and intolerably hot and humid
in the summer (when I’ve always visited).
To our dismay, the lodge we all were staying at did not contain any
heater. Just a medium-thick blanket on
the bed was all that shielded us from the cold.
The bed was the hardest and firmest we’ve ever felt in our life. It was a little softer than a
box-spring. In fact, I think it was just
a box-spring. I had leggings and sweats
on, socks, two pairs of sweaters, a jacket, and a fuzzy hat and I was still
cold, as the cold reached its icy fingers to my body inside the bedroom of the
lodge. Of course, I’ve felt 30 to 40
degree temperatures in the U.S. and Canada (and colder), but I was astonished by
the plummeting temperatures in one of the hottest countries in the globe. We were surprised that we slept a wink while
shivering. Thankfully, my parents had
three extra sleeping bags and loaned us two on top of the blankets that we
had. I couldn’t figure out if it was
better to put a blanket on the bottom of the bed to make the stone-bed softer
or put it on top of me. It was a
beautiful, picturesque, scenic, mountainous area with a stunning view, but we
were glad to thaw out in Chiangmai, a south-ward city.
This Is Your Brain on Opium
When Ted told me that my dad was going to drop us off at the
Hall of Opium (an opium museum), I didn’t know what to think. It sounded as if the museum was praising the
virtues of illegal opium usage and nothing could be further from the
truth. The Hall of Opium (considered
“edutainment”: educational and entertainment) was built about ten years ago and
there’s a luxury hotel on the premises.
I was stunned to observe, along the walls, various posters,
documentaries, mannequins, artifacts, etc. to illustrate the detrimental (and
some beneficial results from morphine usage in the medical field) effects of
the psychotropic poppy flower, which blocks pain receptors and increases
endorphin (pleasure hormones) uptake. How
people get addicted is that the absence of the Opium (or any drug) causes such
severe withdrawal symptoms that people will risk everything to get the next
euphoric high from it. It was an
anti-drug commercial on steroids at the impressive Hall of Opium. It was a cautionary warning museum mandated
by the King of Thailand and the royal family themselves. The opening to the museum was a long, dimly-lit
hall with wood carvings of grotesque, tortured faces and bodies, showing the
torment of Opium addicts. Out of all the
poppy species, only one poppy creates Opium.
There were illustrations of Opium usage (medicinal and addictive)
throughout history that stretched mainly in Southeast and Far East Asia
(especially in Siam – the traditional name of Thailand – Burma/Myanmar,
Malaysia, Vietnam, the border of China, etc.).
There were wars and battles fought, commerce and merchants that had
opium dens (in which customers would recline on an uncomfortable, angular, porcelain
pillow and wood “bed” to make the Opium addict uncomfortable while they smoked
in a reclining position to make room for the next customer), labor, farming,
laws passed mandating its usage and criminalizing users and vendors (especially
in Siam as early as the 15th century), etc…..all in the name of
Opium. There was also an illustration of
the penalties and criminalization that occurs in modern countries (the U.S.
being the most lax concerning usage and dealing, including financial penalties
and various lengths of prison time for the 1st, 2nd, and
3rd offenses. The most
serious penalty is life in prison) such as in Singapore and other Asian
countries: possession and usage results in death or life in prison. No pass, go or collecting $200. Any possession and/or usage of the drug will
cost that abuser or pusher dearly with their life. No wonder why Singaporeans have the least drug
problems in the world. Another area
showed modern-day illustrations and photos of some ways people who have
smuggled Opium into and out of countries such as cutting open the torso of a
Teddy Bear and filling it with bags of Opium, soaking peaches or clothing in it
and then boiling them and taking it off the top of the water, filling condoms
with it and then having the perpetrator swallow the condoms in hopes that they
will pass through their gastrointestinal system out the other end (often times,
the smuggler will die because the gastric juices will eat away at the condom
lining, releasing the lethal dosage of Opium into their system), and other
means. Close to the exit were photos and
newspaper articles of famous people and celebrities infamous for their drug
addictions which have died due to overdose (very politically incorrect
according to the U.S.). At the exit,
there were pillars that were etched with a spiritual proverb, including one
from the Bible, interestingly enough, about self-control and restraint versus
indulgence and moral laxity. Overall, it
was an informative, yet unsettling visual of the history of Opium usage.
A Mouse By The House
My parents live in a beautiful house that’s on a quasi-farm
in Chiangmai (Northern Thailand, about 4 hours away from Bangkok). There are hens, roosters, and baby chicks
roaming around, crowing at all hours of the day (and night, to our surprise. Thankfully, we had ear-plugs). There are several koi in a pond by the
entrance to the door in which there is a small wooden bridge that crosses over
it. In the morning, before our trek to
another city, I decided to explore their backyard. My stepmom had stated there was a “noo” (Thai
word for mouse) in a cage outside. I
have had mice, rats, and rabbits for pets and would love to have a ferret as a
pet. Delighted to see their pet mouse,
my pet-loving mental balloon burst as they promptly told me that the cage was a
mouse trap. Inside, I saw what appeared
to be a large field mouse with brown, black, and white markings. It looked rather content in the cage with the
piece of food that was set inside to trap the poor little rodent. My dad said that he was going to just leave
the mouse in the cage to let it die/starve to death during our 2-day trip to
Chiangrai to see my uncles, aunts, and cousins and visit Burma and Laos. I intervened and said, “No! You can’t just leave him in the cage to die!
He doesn’t even have any water!” Then he
told me that my stepmom – seeing how distressed I was – said that they were
going to take him with us to the foot-hills en route to our destination and set
him free. Seeing this was a better
alternative than starving and becoming dehydrated, I was relieved. My parents had cut open a large water bottle
and placed the mouse inside it and taped it shut (and even poked a few holes
for it to breathe). The “noo” (in the
large water bottle) had the sentence of death and fear etched into its little
face and I felt sympathy for it. I then
placed it in a plastic bag and put it in the back of the truck. When we arrived in the foot-hills, my dad
removed the tape from the water bottle and it jumped out and ran for its life
into the bushes. It didn’t even turn
back to have a bite of the banana that I placed in front of the bottle! Free at last!
My dad did advise me that when they catch mice with the mouse trap (a
metal cage about 10 inches in length, in which the opening shuts when it senses
vibrations), they usually set it free like they just did, but sometimes if they
get lazy they would leave it in the cage with its last supper until it
dies. They don’t even ask the mouse what
it wants for its final meal. ;) I hope
that by my intervention that they will continue to drive the rascals to the
hills so that they are no longer considered city vermin, but country mice in
which they fend for themselves.
Thai Food
My relatives can create Thai culinary dishes from their own
cranium without having to read instructions or to follow directions on a packet
of Thai food mixture (like I do). My
auntie made the highly coveted (by us, at least) Thai appetizer when she
visited (my stepmom’s sister, Auntie Chaunpit, who is a Thai cook/chef) which
is the chicken satay with peanut sauce (she soaked the pieces of chicken – to
be grilled on skewers – in a tasty marinade all night). Usually these are about 5 skewers for about
$8 to $10 in the U.S. at a restaurant.
Not so with Auntie Chaunpit! My
stepmom is equally as talented as she also made Pad Thai (like a Thai pasta
dish), Yum Nua (Thai Beef Salad), and other assorted dishes. People tend to ask me if I make Thai food for
Ted and my reply, to their disappointment, is that I only make it on special
occasions or only once or twice a year (if he’s lucky). The last time I made it was in Christmas 2011
for my sister-in-law, Lana, and her husband and three of our nephews. They didn’t know what to compare it to, so
they ate it with glee (even though I made it accidentally super-spicy). To the untrained Thai food connoisseur, I am
a chef….which is why I usually make Thai food just for non-Thai family and
friends (so they don’t complain that I follow a recipe on the back of the
powder mix).
Accents
It’s funny that we as North Americans parody the accents of
people who are ESL (English as a Second Language) because they may not be able
to pronounce the “r” like in river or “g” as in “go” or say words or phrases in
an awkward, humorous, or humorously awkward way. I remember, as a child, my parents kept
having to apologize for my lack of fluency in Thai and I don’t think I will
ever sound like a native Thai speaker and no matter what CD or class I take in
Thai, I will always speak Thai with a North American/Californian accent. It is interesting that we as Americans (who
have a “midland” accent which is another way of saying those from the west
coast don’t really have an accent, so to speak.
Au contraire! We have an accent
to those who are from the Midwest, South, Northeast, etc. in the U.S.) I read that the linguistic center of one’s
brain becomes more solidified equivalent to the amount of time that a person
spends in a country for the first 12 years of life. Imagine if someone was born in Asia and spent
the first five years there, then moved to the Middle East for 3 years, then
Africa for the next 3 years, then South America for the next few years, and
then the U.S. (Texas, Boston, Oklahoma, and California). What an eclectic mix of accents that
acculturated person would have! This
would certainly be the cure for xenophobia for sure.
Love Is In the Air(waves)
Even though I couldn’t understand about 70 to 80% of Thai,
Ted and I watched Thai music videos or TV shows (most centered around a love
theme). It’s interesting that from
culture to culture, there seems to be songs centered around love, heartbreak,
relationships, falling in it and out of love, etc. Love is the universal language. For the Thai music video countdown, I
observed one music video and the story line was fairly easy to decipher because
of the people’s gestures, character interaction and dramatization. I remember when I was a child, I was within frequent
earshot of my parent’s favorite love songs.
I even mentioned, when I was a kid, to my parents that I hear the same
words over and over again such as “shewit” (meaning “soul” in Thai), “hooah jai”
(meaning “heart”) and “seah jai” (“sadness”).
People are relatively similar around the globe, just with a different
appearance. I heard Thai alternative
rock, rap, contemporary music, and (eek!) “country” music (which my dad
loves. It’s not what you think). U.S. country music is very dissimilar to Thai
country music. Check this out on You
Tube for music my dad likes. He even
criticized the Thai modern music (that was quasi-listenable to us) and said
that the lyrics were too superficial/shallow.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
The King and I
I found it quite interesting that after
the movie previews but before a showing of one of the latest American movies in
the Bangkok IMAX movie theater, a musical montage of photos of the King of
Thailand was displayed (along with Thai people praising the virtues of the
King). Immediately, all the people in
the movie stood up (like Americans do at the singing of the national anthem at
a sporting event) to pay honor and homage to the king. There were various photos of the king
providing advancements to various Thailand communities that showed his
benevolence. Albeit, the photos were
about 20 or so years old when he was a younger man (he has become ill,
unfortunately). Ted asked me what
everyone was doing and I said, “They are standing up to honor the king.” Neither of us were briefed about the
nationalistic requirement to stand up during this video montage. We just went with the Thai flow. Actually, while I don’t remember standing up
in a movie theater for the king when I was a child watching a movie in the
theater in the early 80’s, I do, however, remember that, to conserve energy,
the television channels (there were only a few) would show the Thai flag waving
in the air with a Thai national anthem before they shut off around 9pm to open
up again around 6pm. Now, of course, the
Thai airwaves have operational channels 24/7 and don’t necessarily display this
nationalistic montage. The king and
royalty is adored and honored by the Thais.
In fact, if he is seen in his royal carriage (car) in the city or
country, the Thais bow down and perform a “wai” (hands placed together in an
upward direction) and, in the Thai language, state something to the effect of
asking the king to rule and reign over their very life in a worshipful
manner. This concept is really foreign
to us Americans as we have a democratic (and not monarchistic) society in which
the presidents are elected and the presidency, obviously, doesn’t go to the
next male heir. In fact, if anyone is
seen dishonoring the king in any way, shape, or form, they could be imprisoned
for up to a life-time. In contrast, in
American politics, people are free to elect whomever candidate floats their
political boat and speak publicly against the candidate that was elected whom
they don’t agree with (political cartoons, jokes, radio and television talk
shows, campaigns, newspaper/magazine articles, etc.). Even though the concept of standing up in a
movie theater to honor the king is foreign to us, it still is preferable over
the North Korea communistic dictatorship any day of the week in which people
can be imprisoned or killed for not looking mournful enough at the passing of
Kim Jong Il. What a contrast! “My country tis of thee! Sweet land of
liberty!” I will stand and I will “wai”
(nod and hands placed together in greeting fashion) but I will not bow to
anyone except Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, the true King.
Shirt Tales
I have been custom imprinting shirts and mouse-pads since
2006 (and other imprintable items) and, while my parents visited us in 2010,
someone took a picture of the four of us on a Duck Tour ride in Miami. My father requested that I emblazon two red
shirts (one for my dad and another for my stepmom) with this particular photo. I was shocked to learn that after I mailed
these shirts that someone (either in the U.S. or Thailand or en route between)
had confiscated, stolen, or destroyed my shirts that I sent him in 2011 for his
birthday. Why would anyone want to wear
a customized shirt with a strange family on the front, smiling? I wonder (if they were stolen) if the thieves
ever wore the shirts and had people question who the family was on the
front? Would you want to wear a shirt
with an unknown family on the front, let alone want to keep the model family
photo in a new photo frame? Thankfully,
while we were here, we had a nice photo taken of the my dad, stepmom, Ted and
me that I will newly create when I return home….and will send it via Fed-Ex or
UPS in which the courier must guard and deliver it with my dad’s signature (or
else that company pays me for the customized shirts).
This Land is Your Land
One of the main reasons why we visited (besides seeing my
family) is so that I could inherit the land that my grandmother on my mother’s
side has bestowed to me in her will (among the other cousins). To do so, I needed to jump through the legal
hoops of renewing my Thai passport (even though my Thai birth certificate was
destroyed in an earthquake in LA in 1994) in Miami as well as getting my Thai
I.D. (there were other complexities involved with this undertaking both for my
dad and for me). The long-awaited day
for the property to be transferred in my name arrived and we went to the city
clerk office in Ayuthaya (by Bangkok).
When my father drove us to the land, it was in a rural/country area
where my mother grew up. It was an
unpaved dirt/stone road with miles of rice fields and paddies. The people knew of my mother in the village
and they kept saying that I looked like my mother, which was a compliment. There was a banana tree growing nearby. I did have an opportunity to have my uncle
sell the land and give me about $3,000 USD for it, but then the money (even if
we save it) will one day be spent as opposed to owning a portion of land that
my grandmother bequeathed to me in the area that my precious late mother grew
up in. My fraction of the property was
indeed quite interesting as I didn’t know what purpose I’d use it for (except
to build a retirement house for Ted and me).
Perhaps God will reveal the purpose of this land shortly. I have never owned property/land (other than
jointly with Ted in a house) in my life until today. This land is finally my land that my father
desired me to have. If there is a
worldwide food shortage of rice, perhaps people will turn to my rice
fields!
Shower to Shower
One of the things (among many) we had to get used to were
that the shower was part of the toilet and sink. What I mean is that the shower didn’t have a
separate enclosure (closed off by a curtain, tub, or glass) so that everything
gets wet (in most bathrooms) so it’s impossible to have a change of clothing or
a towel hanging up because, more than likely, it is going to become damp with shower
water. There is one central drain in the
middle of the (usually small to medium) bathroom that drains into a pipe or
directly underneath the house onto the ground.
Thais (and foreigners, too) usually prefer to wear shower shoes to
protect one’s feet (and also to shield one’s feet from getting wet again should
you need to re-enter the bathroom). We
quickly understood the need for “shower shoes”.
En-light-enment
I noticed immediately that all of the facial creams and
lotions that purport to make one’s skin soft and supple all have one thing in
common: they are designed to whiten one’s skin.
In stark contrast to the U.S. in which fair-skinned ladies go to tanning
booths by the droves (or at least desire to look “healthy” by “getting some
sun”). Some even are “tan-a-holics” that
get a euphoric “high” when they are exposed to the UV lights of the tanning bed
to the point of looking charred to a crisp (like the “tanorexic” mom) with an
unnatural leather brown shade to their skin.
I always wondered in the U.S. why fair-skinned ladies desire to look
tan/brown when they have naturally beautiful ivory skin. All things westernized (including beauty) have
become the standard of beauty in Asia, including lighter skin. My late mother was from Southern Thailand
(Ayuthaya/Bangkok area) and she was beautiful and darker than me and my father
is from Northern Thailand (Chiangmai) and is lighter than me so I came out with
a skin shade of olive in between. Every
model that I see adorning the commercials, billboards, magazines, television,
etc. is fair-skinned. When I was getting my hair done I noticed that there was
a beauty service for lightening/tattooing the lips (and breast) skin pink! I never thought pink skin was an upper echelon
standard of beauty in Asia until I saw these particular services and products. I can understand why women would want to
tattoo their lips mauve (so they don’t have to wear lipstick), but they desire
to have their lips look pink naturally (as if they were fair-skinned) as
opposed to brown/olive lips. Anyhow, I
tried to not become offended by the Asian desire to look fair-skinned at all
costs (to the point of wearing face visors to shield their faces from the
tanning effects of the sun). Changing
one’s skin from light to dark or dark to light in excess (while considered the
beauty flavor of the era), needless to say, can be quite detrimental. The Asian desire to have lighter skin reminds
me of the Victorian beauty standard of light/pale skin. It almost sounds unbelievable that ladies, at
one point in American history, desired to showcase a waxen pallor on their
epidermis. One of the detrimental
practices of the Victorian ladies was to actually swallow arsenic pills to
reduce the oxygen in the blood to create the pallor. In fact, to have darker skin (something
coveted by many U.S. women) was considered characteristic of the lower class
(spending too much time in the sun performing manual labor). I am reminded of the Song of Solomon in which
Solomon’s wife had said she was “dark and lovely”. I wish that others would also see that if
they have darker skin they also are considered lovely as well. Also, I am reminded that we all are
“wonderfully…made” in the eyes of God, no matter what skin color: light,
medium, or dark.
Knock-Offs
A Coach purse for under $20!
Incredible…or is it? Various
factories are strewn throughout Asia and other continents that copy (based on
available materials and accurate “blue-prints” of the design) brand-name
purses, clothes, jewelry, movies, accessories, etc. One of the things that tans my cousin’s hide
(off her purses) - who is a manager for Coach purses in China (legitimately!)
are knock-offs. Knock-offs, while
illegal manufacturers and their workers try to legitimize their copying – put companies
and employees out of work eventually.
Also, there is an uncertain amount of knock-offs that are unfortunately forged
in the heat of sweat-shops and labor human trafficking. How on earth do they have DVD movies for sale
in SE Asia that are still available in the theater? Reason #1: There are some movies that are
available in Asia first and the rest of the world second. Reason #2:
More than likely somebody had snuck in a video-cam into the movie
theater and recorded it and burned it onto a DVD, even with the understood
threat of financial penalty and/or imprisonment. Even though copyright laws are universal, the
laws are difficult to enforce when the people behind the illegal DVD-recording
and burning are obscure, sparse and hard to track down. I recall a friend who was recanting a story
of her friend who used to buy knock-off purses from a Chinese woman (in the
U.S.). The Chinese woman was about to
strike another deal selling her knock-off purses to my friend’s friend when she
said, “Oh no! I got to go! Police here
and they raiding us!” followed by the woman slamming down the phone. I recall a movie called “Knock-Off” with Jean
Claude Van Damme about – you guessed it – knock-offs. I recall that the shoes he was running in,
although they looked appealing because he thought they were brand-name, the
sole of the shoe started to peel off from the rest of the shoe. I admit that I did buy a purse (not
brand-name) that looked like it was classy for about $18 in Laos only to have
it fall apart in a few days. You
definitely get what you pay for. I guess
that’s how most things in life are. If
you invest a little, don’t expect to get a lot in return.
Universal Plugs
If only I had done my research on electrical outlets (plugs)
around the world before I burned out my hair-dryer and other appliances. I plugged in my hair-dryer and it did work;
however, after a few days in Thailand, I started noticing a burnt carbon smell
emanating from the hair-dryer. Concerned
that my hair-dryer might spark into my hair (and heaven forbid, it would be a
worse scene than Michael Jackson’s hair caught on fire in the Pepsi
commercial), I quickly unplugged it and allowed my hair to go wet. When I complained to my dad about the
electrical outlet issue, he notified me that Thailand emits 220 volts of power
and most U.S. appliances only can take about 110 volts, thus the burnt smell of
the fuse in the hair-dryer caused my short fuse. When I used my dad’s adapter/transformer in
which I plugged in my U.S. hairdryer on one end of it for 110 volts and plugged
it into the outlet in Thailand, it worked!
When we were in a Finland hotel, we thought mistakenly since we were in
Europe, they would also share the same type of outlet (3-prong). Ted couldn’t charge his electrical razor or
tooth-brush, so he went fuzzy today.
Knowing that we had about 6 hours due to the delay in flight in the
Helsinki airport, I knew I had to distract myself so the hours would glide by while
surfing the Internet. We tried to plug
it into the outlet at the airport to no avail, unfortunately. We went to the electronics store in the
airport and I asked if they had an adapter to adapt a 3-prong plug into a
2-round prong outlet (I am sure there are more technical names for these
plugs). I bought the adapter for 13.95
Euros (around $16 USD) and went back to sit down at the terminal to plug the
adapter in and lo and behold, that adapter didn’t even work. So, we went back to the store to get a refund
or exchange and I told them it didn’t work and then they directed me to a
3-prong adapter for U.S. appliances (apparently not all 3-prong plugs are
equal). Alas, that finally worked. Apparently, there are several types of
outlets in the world and so far we have experience with 4 types of them: the
Asia outlet that is 2-prong and round, the European 2-prong that is round
(maybe they are one and the same?), the European 3-prong that is also round,
and of course, the North American and Canadian plug that is 2 or 3 prong and
flat. So many plugs and so little time!
Movies and Books based in Thailand
There have been various movies that have been filmed in
Thailand, mainly in Bangkok, which is like the Los Angeles of SE Asia. Both Los Angeles and Bangkok, respectively,
are called (in English) the “City of Angels “ (in Spanish and Thai). Ironically, my parents went from one “City of
Angels” (Bangkok) to another (L.A.) when they immigrated to the U.S. Usually, there are action films and a few
that are comedy. Apparently, to amplify
the exotic”ness” of the film, Bangkok is the place to hold martial art and
kick-boxing (Muay Thai) fights; have assassins change their mind about their
dangerous activities; have car, motorcycle and foot chases from bad guys; and of course, the new Bourne Identity was filmed there
(the last segment). There is a new movie
called “The Encounter 2: Paradise Lost” that is also filmed in Thailand (written
by my friend, Sean Paul Murphy, and starring David AR White who used to star in
“Saved By The Bell”). I am slightly
flattered and fascinated that movie producers and screenwriters want to work
with the accommodating people of Thailand to create a movie there that
eventually is worth millions of dollars.
Also, there have been several books based in Thailand (although I can’t
think of any of over them right now). Want
to create a movie on the land I now own in Bangkok due to my grandmother giving
it to me as an inheritance? All I ask is
for 10% of the movie proceeds. Ha ha. ;)
Final Thoughts
I wish that my family lived
close by (like down the road) so I don’t have to be separated from them for
long periods of time due to economic, employment, business and logistical
road-blocks. The pangs of longing when I
hear other people getting together with their families often and especially
around the holidays (like my in-law family) often intensifies my desire to
family connection (even though my in-laws are also my family). It had been a little over a decade since I
saw many of my cousins, uncles and aunts (and a few who haven’t seen me since I
was an 8-year-old kid). Even though I
speak a little Thai and they speak a little English, and all they expected and
gave was a “wai” (slight nod with hands placed together upwardly) in terms of
physical affection (when I really want to hug each of them), the family bond
was strong and I could feel their love and vice versa. I do enjoy the people, the food, and the
sight-seeing. We will be making our
descent into New York for a connecting flight to Miami (not only worlds apart
geographically, but culturally) and will have culture shock once again. I have to ignore the fact that some clerks and people here in the U.S. don't even greet or say "hello" to you whereas we were accustomed to receiving a warm, welcoming "Sawadeeka" or "Sawadee kup" wherever we went in Thailand. I will have to explain myself a little more
because people will be more outspoken, confrontational, demanding, and self-oriented
of which I am not necessarily looking forward to, so I need to shift gears from
the attitude of my polite Thai counterparts that I had become accustomed to for
three weeks and switch gears to becoming more assertive once again. Each culture has its set of wonder as well as
woe. As I wear both my American and Thai
hats that have different textures, I am grateful for the opportunity to be part
of both cultures.
Wow Jeri, you should write a book...this is a very intriguing experience.
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